Last fall I wrote a post about navigating the realities of midlife, which is one of those topics that doesn’t seem all that theological on the surface, but our failure to think Christianly about aging can actually stunt our spiritual growth. (And because men don’t face the same degree of negative stigma around signs of aging, we don’t hear much about it in church.)
Physical changes, however, are only one aspect of midlife. We also experience emotional changes as our roles shift and our stress levels increase. In addition, we may also face major disappointment as we realize that some of the dreams we carried as young women will never materialize.
In the year since I wrote that article on navigating midlife, I’ve become even more convinced that wisdom is critical for midlife and beyond. Not just wisdom to know how far to take our “self-improvement” efforts, but wisdom to help us come to a place of maturity in our faith. But this raises two questions: why do we need wisdom and how do we grow in wisdom?
A Journey toward Wisdom
Since I’m writing about wisdom, I want to be the first to acknowledge that I don’t have this figured out. I’m still a work in progress. But as I look back over my life, I see growth.
When I think back on my teenage years and my twenties, I can’t help but roll my eyes at my younger self. I thought I knew so much. Indeed, I was zealous, and my head was chock full of knowledge, but I was inexperienced and lacked wisdom. Fortunately, God is merciful to his children and gives us opportunities to grow–and, I might add, real growth often happens through challenges and trials.
Why Wisdom Matters
Wisdom is one of those traits that can feel out of reach for normal Christians. We picture Solomon and his reputation for being the wisest man in the world. Or take the Proverbs 31 woman and her unbelievable industry. How could we ever hope to live up to these standards? If we’re honest, some of those ideals seem cliché, the kind of advice one finds at Christian bookstores or in Bible studies for teenagers. No wonder wisdom seems so unattainable or even undesirable for regular Christian women.
But God doesn’t let us off the hook. Throughout Scripture, we see that godly wisdom is a desirable character trait. In fact, Proverbs repeatedly exhorts us to seek wisdom, to give all we have to obtain it (Prov 4:7), and reminds us that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov 1:7, 9:10).
Fearing the Lord doesn’t mean cowering in terror like we would a tyrant. Rather it refers to a reverence for God’s majesty, power, and holiness as well as a deep love and desire to please him. We fear God because he is good and has rescued us from sin and death.
Growing in wisdom is also important because wisdom is one of the qualities that God possesses that he has also placed in us as his image bearers. So how do we grow in wisdom?
Growing in Wisdom
In Luke 2:52, we read that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” That’s a clue as to how important wisdom is.
If we want to grow in wisdom, we need to recognize that wisdom is more than a list of clever sayings. Memorizing proverbs isn't enough. Rather true wisdom stems from fear of the Lord and keeping his commands. Proverbs 2:6 tells us, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” The fact that wisdom comes from God is reassuring. It frees us from thinking we need to muster up wisdom by our own bootstraps. Instead, we need to ask God and believe that he will give it to us.
When we pray for wisdom, we need to remember that growing in wisdom takes time. It’s not an overnight process. It’s the result of fearing the Lord and obeying his word. We don’t get wise by hacks. There’s no simple 5-step formula. Rather, we pray for wisdom and obey what God has commanded. It’s simple but not easy.
Besides prayer and obedience, humility is another aspect of wisdom. We can be tempted to think that wisdom is a sort of God’s eye perspective on the meaning of different situations we face in our lives. But as Job discovered (Job 40:1-42:6), these things are beyond searching out. Instead of trying to be wise in our own eyes at understanding God’s purposes, we need to humble ourselves before the Lord, drawing on his wisdom to help us do the right thing at the right time.
In conclusion, we need to remind ourselves that we don’t grow wise through a life of ease. The challenges and hardships of life are what cause us to cry out to God for wisdom. As we grow in wisdom, we’re also less likely to think that we have arrived. Instead, we’ll recognize just how limited our knowledge and understanding are. No matter our age, we can pray for wisdom, believe that God will give us wisdom, and walk in humble obedience to his commandments.